Roommate Agreement Form
Objective:
The purpose of this roommate agreement is to provide a starting point to
negotiate a variety of issues. The terms
and conditions of this agreement are subject to change. Anything you say and sign may or may not appear
against you in the court of law. The
purpose of this agreement is to avoid unnecessary murders and/or jail time.
Address:
Tenants:
1.
2.
3.
Article 1: Rights of the Tenants
Section A: All tenants have the right to speak
honestly as guaranteed by the First Amendment of the Constitution. Please keep in mind, words and actions have
consequences. All tenants have the right to religious freedom as also
guaranteed by the First Amendment.
Please keep in mind, lack of using religious freedom may end in a place
with no air conditioner.
Section B: All tenants have the right to nullify
roommate agreement, having no responsibilities or obligations toward each
other, other than paying rent and sharing utilities.
Section C: All tenants have the right to call for an
emergency roommate meeting.
Section D: All tenants have the right to hold an
assembly (or have guests over) as guaranteed by the First Amendment of the
Constitution. All tenants are therefore
responsible for the guests. This
includes but is not limited to: cleaning up behind all the guests, inviting
them over at a decent hour (especially on school nights), and being overall
considerate of the other roommates.
Section E: All tenants have the right to be whatever
they want to be when they grow up. Peter Pan Clause: All tenants have the right to Peter Pan
Syndrome and never grow up.
Section F: All tenants have the right for their
room to never be searched without a search warrant as guaranteed by the Fourth
Amendment of the Constitution.
Section G: All tenants have the right to bear arms
as guaranteed by the Second Amendment.
All tenants have the right to life and to not be shot or killed by arms
owned by the other tenants as guaranteed by the Declaration of Independence and
the Fifth Commandment.
Section
H: All
tenants have the right to disagree with the roommate agreement. In the event
that a tenant does not agree with the agreement, then an agreement must be
agreed upon by the other agreeing tenants, or they will have to agree to
disagree.
Section
I: All
tenants have the right to move out if they do not agree with the other tenants. However, it is the tenant’s responsibility to
continue to pay rent or find someone to take their place.
Section
J: All tenants have the right to a quiet
study area. This includes politely
asking the other roommates to keep noise to a minimum.
Section
K: All tenants have the right to life,
liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
In other words, you have the right to freely pursue happiness in your
own life. All tenants have the right to
a happy life.
Article 2: Assisting the Other
Tenants/Consideration Article
Section
A: All
tenants have the right to ask for assistance from the other tenants if needed. All tenants have the right to refuse to
assist for whatever reason. Please keep
in mind, Karma is not a nice person.
Section
B: All
tenants will help destroy an artificial intelligence that lands in, on, or near
the house.
Section C: All tenants will protect each other in
the event that Godzilla attacks the home.
Section D: In the event of a nuclear attack, zombie
apocalypse, etc., all tenants will share food equally.
Section E: All tenants will give the other roommates
a 12 hour notice of impending coitus.
Section F: If one roommate obtains super powers,
the others will be named sidekicks.
Section G: If one or more roommates is bitten by a
zombie, they will not be killed by the other roommates unless specifically
requested by the bitten roommate.
Section H: If a roommate is going to Walmart or to
get fast food or take out, they will ask if the other roommates would like
anything.
Section I: All roommates will assist each other if
one or more ever become a robot.
Section
J: Should
a roommate be invited to a swimming party at a celebrity's house, they must
invite the other roommates.
Section
K: The
thermostat, lights, television, and kitchen appliances will be kept at an
energy-efficient minimum in order to save money.
Section L: In the event of a sick roommate, the
other roommates must nurse and aid them to the best of their ability without
risking their own health.
Section
M: Roommates
will help a stranded roommate in the event of a broken down car. However, the
stranded roommate cannot take advantage of the situation and ask the others to
become personal taxi drivers.
Section
N: The
roommate to take the first shower of the day will take any necessary measures
to ensure an adequate supply of hot water.
Section O: No hootenannies, sing-alongs, raucous
laughter, clinking of glasses, celebratory gunfire, or barbershop quartets
after 11 PM on weeknights.
Section
P: Roommates
may assist each other in cleaning the house in the event of company coming to
visit. There must be an appropriate, timely warning in order for this to
apply. This includes but is not limited
to vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, washing the slip covers, etc. Roommates may assist each other in cleaning
the house in all other occasions out of pure politeness.
Article 3: Responsibilities of the
Tenants
Section A: All tenants are responsible for paying
rent on time.
Section B: In the event a mess is made, the tenant
responsible for the mess is responsible for cleaning it in a timely
manner. It is the tenant's
responsibility to take out the garbage if it is full.
Section C: All tenants are responsible for treating
the other roommates with respect. Please
keep in mind, respect is earned.
Section
D: All
tenants are responsible for their own pets.
Section
E: All
tenants are responsible for their own possessions in the moving in/moving out
processes.
Section
F: In
the event of a tenant damaging another roommate's property, it is the
responsibility of the tenant to repair or compensate for the damages in a
timely manner.
Section
G: It
is the responsibility of the roommates to return, replace, or compensate any
borrowed items in a timely fashion in the same condition.
Section
H: It
is the responsibility of the tenant to keep the house safe, secure, and
energy-efficient. This includes but is not limited to keeping the doors locked
at all times, unplugging all hair accessories when not being used, powering
down all kitchen appliances when not being used, turning off lights, keeping
the thermostat at a bearable temperature, blowing out candles when leaving the
house, etc.
Section
I: In
the event of an exceptionally bad day, it is the tenant's responsibility to
cheer up the roommate.
Section
J: It
is the male tenant's responsibility to handle man-ly things. This includes but is not limited to: killing
all bugs, carrying heavy things, and the use of any hardware tools, with the
exception of a hammer and nails.
Article 4: Settling Disagreements
Section A: Tenants must realize all roommates have
disagreements. What separates good from
bad roommates is how to handle disagreements.
Section
B: If
a roommate says or does something that a tenant disagrees with, and if it
really affects or bothers the tenant, the tenant has the right to politely discuss it with the roommate.
Section
C: After
a polite discussion has taken place, the roommates have the right to agree or
to agree to disagree. Whatever the case,
the issue will no longer be discussed by anyone, and both parties will move on
from the issue.
Section
D: In
the event a disagreement continues, all tenants have the right to call an
emergency house meeting in order to resolve the issue. (Article 1 Section C)
Section
E: All
tenants will keep in mind Article 1 Section K: the right to a happy life. All tenants will keep the Golden Rule in mind
as well.
Section
F: Tenants
should inform roommates of particular pet peeves or bothersome behavior to
avoid situations.
Section
H: Roommates
are friends-not food. (Do not chew them out, please).
My signature
below means that I have read this roommate agreement and agree to ALL of its
terms and conditions. I promise to
follow these to the best of my ability.
Cross my heart and pinky promise.
Tenants Signatures:
1.
2.
3.
