Don't Worry... Make Others Happy & Be Happy

“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.” - Gretchen Rubin

I have found this quote to be true over and over and over again in my life.  I love making people happy, and it makes me happy doing it.  It's funny to me how the little things, the small gestures, the encouraging word sometimes more to people than we realize.

After we moved, we had to wait about 3 weeks for our trash service to deliver a new trash can.  I have never had a complaint with them, and I knew they were short staffed just like everyone else because of the hurricane so I didn't want to switch.

So the first pickup day after waiting three weeks was interesting.  We tried to consolidate it the best we could, but there were piles and piles of boxes and trash, and all I could think was, "They're going to hate us.  They will never pick up our trash again."

I can't handle the thought of someone hating me so I grabbed a cute little cooler bag, filled it with bottled water and snacks, and left a note on the outside that basically said, "This will not be a regular thing.  Going three weeks without a trash can was not your fault, but it was not our fault either.  Please don't hate us.  Here are some goodies to make up for it.  I hope you have a wonderful day!"  And I stuck all of this on top of the trash can. 

Confession time:  I waited for them to come that morning and watched from the window.  I know.  It's so weird.  But I needed to know if they were mad at me or not.

So they pulled up on the truck, and you could feel their anger radiating from them through the windows.  Did I mention it was a huge pile of boxes and trash?  But then one of the guys spotted the cooler.  He picked it up, read the note, showed it to his buddy, then they both laughed.  They laughed the entire time they loaded up the rest of the stuff.  With a huge sigh of relief, I turned to walk away from the window but then something caught my eye. 

The two guys waved at the house and said thank you.  I was embarrassed that they spotted me peeking through the blinds, but I was so thankful that I was able to do just a little something to make someone else just a little bit happier.

Courage, Dear Heart

“But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, 'Courage, dear heart,' and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan's, and with the voice a delicious smell breathed in her face.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 

"GOD, HELP ME!!!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs sitting in a kayak on the water where it seemed to be a hundred miles from the beach. I was out-of-my-mind scared so I kept screaming the words to the Plumb song, "I'm feeling so alone here, and I know that You're faithful, but I can barely breathe. God help me!"

So how did I get here? I'm so glad you asked.

I was on the beach with some friends enjoying a relaxing day. Someone had brought a paddleboard, and someone else had brought a kayak. I have never been on a paddleboard so let's go for it! Then as soon as we got in the water, I saw something pop up from beneath the surface. I honestly have no idea if it was a turtle, a sting ray, or just a fish, but swearing I heard the Jaws theme, all I knew was I wanted to get out of there and get back on the beach.

A while later, I decided to take the kayak out. I used to kayak by myself out on the beach all the time, but it's been a while so I was nervous. The red flag flapping in the wind wasn't exactly encouraging either. While I was paddling out, I saw on the next wave a whole bunch of sting rays. Something snapped in me, and I panicked. I turned the kayak around, and while I was paddling in, I flipped and lost my sunglasses Ben bought me for my birthday. I felt like a complete idiot all around.

When I got back, one of the guys tried to get me to go back out again and not be scared. I thought I could handle better it if I had someone with me so he grabbed another kayak to go out. I hopped on the kayak, paddled out passed the waves, and he was nowhere to be found. I turned around to watch him struggling to get on the kayak with all the waves.

So I waited patiently for him to come out there, right? Nope.

Full. Blown. Panic attack.

I was screaming for him to come out, and he kept yelling back that he was trying. I lost it. I was crying and wanting to give up and go back, but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.  I was frozen.  I was scared.  And I was angry.  

I was so mad at myself for being so scared. I was trying to remember that statistics show a higher chance of getting struck by lightning than getting attacked by a shark, but when you're scared, things like stats don't make sense. When trying to explain to a friend what a panic attack feels like, I told her that it's like the logic part of my brain completely shuts down. It doesn't matter how safe I actually I am, I don't feel safe so panic takes over.

I started praying as loud as I could, "God help me!" Screaming the words to the Plumb song over and over.  In that moment, I was asking for Him to protect me from anything that might be swimming around me. But then it grew to asking for Him to protect me from own fear and imagination. And asking Him to wipe my memory of all those stupid shark movies I've ever watched.

Here is the cool part! I don't have a lot of experience with panic attacks or anxiety, but every time I have had one, I have been lucky enough to not be alone. Most of the time, Ben has been with me, and he knows exactly how to help me and calm me down. Out here on the water, I was completely alone and had to solely rely on God.

My prayers are never more sincere, authentic, or loud as they are when I'm scared like I was that moment on the water. I had to fully and completely trust that God was going to keep me safe. I had no one else to protect me, no one else to calm me down, no one else to tell me it would be okay. It was just me and God.

Just as Lucy heard the albatross whisper, "Courage, dear heart," I felt a calmness and peace that could only come from a loving Heavenly Father and not from within myself.  

When things get bad or stressful, I tend to rely on the people around me a little too much instead of relying on Jesus for peace.  I just need to be still, know He is God, and remember "Courage, dear hear."