Monday, April 22, 2013

All the Single Ladies

Oh look!  Another wedding invitation.  I love weddings:  the dresses, the colors, the flowers, the cake, and every special detail where the couple makes their day extra special.  Whether it’s a necklace from the bride’s grandmother attached to the bouquet, a new beautiful, white Cinderella dress, the veil borrowed from the bride’s mother, a blue Duke University garter, or a houndstooth groom’s cake, every wedding day is unique.  And I love every minute of it!

My favorite part of weddings, besides the cake, is the vows.  The combination of love and nerves is always so precious, and I have to admit that I have to fight back tears every time.  At every wedding, I can’t help but think, “I want that.  One day, it’ll be me on the altar saying those vows.”  One day, I’ll meet a guy that will buy me chocolate and Taco Bell, that will watch Duck Dynasty and the Avengers with me, that can follow my randomness, that will pray for me and with me.  Until then, I tell everyone the only men I need in my life are my Daddy, my brothers, and my Jesus. 

I will be honest.  I’m not always that confident and that strong in thinking that I only need those four men in my life.  I have my moments of total freak out when I ask God what in the world is He up to and why in the world am I still single.  When I was a freshman at Troy University, my plan consisted of majoring in Elementary Education, and after I graduated, I could move wherever my future husband wanted to move, and I could teach wherever he was.  After I graduated in December of 2011 with a History degree and no boyfriend, my plans obviously had been changed.  I am not a good decision-maker, and I wanted someone there to make the decisions for me.  But God wanted me to learn to depend on Him for decisions and not a man.

In an episode of Gilmore Girls, a stressed-out Rory says, “I’m standing on this cliff looking into this huge foggy abyss.  My whole life, there has never been an abyss.  It’s been abyss-less.  I’ve always known exactly what was in front of me, and I’ve always known exactly where I’m going.  Now, I don’t know what’s out there, and I hate not knowing what is out there.”  Thank you, Rory Gilmore for putting my thoughts and fears into actual words.  After graduation, I had no idea what God had planned for my future, and I was begging for Him to tell me what His plans were.  He put it on my heart to take a huge leap of faith, get out of my comfort zone, and move to Williamsburg, Virginia, where I lived and worked for about sixth months.  I am forever grateful for my time in Virginia, but I am thrilled to be back in the South with my sweet tea and chicken fingers.  I am also happy that I don’t have to get on an airplane to come to my friends’ weddings.  I never want to miss anyone’s special day.  However, I am now working three part time jobs, with none of them what I had in mind and none of them teaching history, and I am back to asking God where He wants me to live, what He wants me to do, who He wants me to be with, and what purpose does He have in mind with my life.  I have to keep in mind, His timing, not mine, is perfect.  And His plans, not mine, are perfect.  And He has a Prince Charming out there for me, but He’s still preparing us for each other.  Bless his heart, Prince Charming needs all the prep time he can get before me and my random thought processes.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  Isaiah 55:8-9

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