Merry Christmas Mrs. Crazy Lady!

'Twas the night before Christmas somewhere at the beach
A pretty lady was writing affirmations to teach
Writing each word with precision and care
A book full of love notes she was ready to share
The grandkids were snuggled all warm in their beds
With Scarlett and CeeCee snoozing close by their heads

A pause of reflection, a look back on the years
She can hardly believe it… How did she get here?
How did she go from life as a single mother of three?
To a successful, awesome broker? Seriously. How could this be?
From being a teacher with a broken-down car
To be a community leader and a realtor rockstar
She smiles through each challenge and burden to bear
With only one exception: she ain’t doin no damn software
She’s calm through the storm and calm through the battle
Then frantically runs out the door to do the skedaddle

Of course, this crazy woman can be imperfect with flaws
She has no idea how to slow down or how to press pause
Where are her glasses? Where are her keys?
And why is the thermostat set on 50 degrees!?

But we love her anyway, this wonderful Crazy Lady
Her whole focus is love - especially her grandbabies
She is now raising her grands as her own
Thankful for her village, she is never alone
She has been through the valleys time and time again
Always declaring, “Thy will be done” and “Amen!”
She has been through life’s storms but continues to pray
She gets on her knees and says, “Hallelujah anyway!”

But here she sits on this quiet Christmas night
And just for a moment, she begins to feel fright
“Will anyone read this love letter book?”
Will anyone understand the courage it took?
She stopped herself there, not giving into fear.
This is her life, her dream, her ship to steer.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes
Refusing to listen to doubt or the lies
She envisions her book flying off the shelves
Then readers spreading love and joy themselves

She pauses in gratitude for the people around her
For all the encouragement and love to surround her
We love this beautiful lady, crazy as a bed bug
The lady we have to bend down to hug
She gives us all joy and something to believe in
While all she is doing is trying to get even.

13 Things Your Public Adjuster Won’t Tell You… But His Wife Will!

My husband has been a public adjuster for over three years, and honestly, I hate that the job exists. I hate the NEED for a public adjuster even exists. Call me crazy, but I thought the whole point of having home insurance is so they can pay to fix your house when something bad happens.  But the truth is they don't always live up to their side of the bargain.  That's where a Public Adjuster comes in.  But my husband is good at his job, and he has been able to help countless people get their lives back on track because he stepped in and helped. 

Just for the record, my husband is very professional and honorable and does not discuss client business with me.  The most he will ever say is "I closed three today." or "I spent 3 hours on the phone with a carrier today just for him to hang up on me."  He does not give me details on anything.  I just pick up on a few things here and there.

Here are a few things that he will never tell you… But I will!

1. Remember who the real enemy is. Your public adjuster is not the one holding the money you deserve hostage. He is the one that is trying to get you the money you need as quickly as possible. Your carrier is the one who is dragging this whole process along – not your public adjuster.
2. He does not get paid unless you get paid. It is in your best interest and his best interest to get your claim closed as quickly as possible for as much money as possible. He does not see a dime until the insurance company finally pays you first.
3. You hired him to do a job. Let him do it. The more time he spends on the phone with you giving you another update, the less time he will have to negotiate with your carrier. You might not see all the grueling hours he puts in every day working for YOU, but his tenacity and diligence are going to play into your favor.
4. Need an Update? Check their website. They give you access to a portal for you to look for updates so you do not have to call and send an email every day asking for an update. It’s right there at your fingertips. 
5. “No update” does not translate into “I have done nothing.” It means he is diligently working on your claim, but the carrier is trying to drag it out as long as possible and not returning his phone calls or emails.
6. Understand the Jobs  - It is your carrier's job to pay you.  It is your PA's job to present your claim in the best possible way to get the carrier to pay you the money that is rightfully yours.   
7. Nothing happens overnight. Be patient.  (I know that's easier said than done.)  Things could take up to a year or more, and this is NOT your PA’s fault. If your insurance carrier would’ve given you the money you deserve in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this position. Trust the process. He will do everything in his power to make it all worth it.
8. The insurance companies are closed on weekends and holidays, which means NOTHING will happen on weekends and holidays. If you talk to your PA on Friday afternoon then call him again on Tuesday morning after Memorial Day, there will be no difference even if your PA spends the entire holiday in the office.
9. Send an email instead of calling him. He prefers emails over phone calls simply because emails are faster. With that being said, don’t expect him to respond within five minutes because everyone else is emailing him too. I can vouch that he answers his emails while he is eating lunch, while he’s drinking his 5th cup of coffee, and even while he’s in the bathroom.
10. Respect his office hours. If there is an actual need to talk to your PA, call during office hours. There is no point calling on nights and weekends when he is not in front of his computer looking at your claim. (Plus, if you call my husband at ungodly hours, you might have to deal with a crazy wife.)
11. Remember he is human. He requires sleep just like everyone else. He has a family. He celebrates Easter and New Years and Thanksgiving. Do not call him on a holiday. (I’m talking to YOU who called during Dirty Santa on Christmas Eve and fireworks on the 4th of July.)  Also, telling him he is isn't working fast enough, hard enough, or even at all - it hurts, and it's frustrating because he is taking every step and checking every box and doing all he can to get you the money the carrier is withholding.  
12. Some Things Don't Make Sense to His Wife Either - It doesn't matter if you've always, always, always paid your bill on time and have never filed a claim before.  It doesn't matter if Michael was officially categorized as a Cat 5 Hurricane.  Unfortunately, these two facts play zero rolls in trying to get you the funds you deserve. I don't understand it either, but it's the truth.
13. Always remember that he is on your team. He is rooting for you to win!! He wants to get you the money you DESERVE as quickly as possible so that you can put this whole thing behind you and go about your life.  He wants the best possible outcome for you!! That is why he does this job.

Don't Worry... Make Others Happy & Be Happy

“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.” - Gretchen Rubin

I have found this quote to be true over and over and over again in my life.  I love making people happy, and it makes me happy doing it.  It's funny to me how the little things, the small gestures, the encouraging word sometimes more to people than we realize.

After we moved, we had to wait about 3 weeks for our trash service to deliver a new trash can.  I have never had a complaint with them, and I knew they were short staffed just like everyone else because of the hurricane so I didn't want to switch.

So the first pickup day after waiting three weeks was interesting.  We tried to consolidate it the best we could, but there were piles and piles of boxes and trash, and all I could think was, "They're going to hate us.  They will never pick up our trash again."

I can't handle the thought of someone hating me so I grabbed a cute little cooler bag, filled it with bottled water and snacks, and left a note on the outside that basically said, "This will not be a regular thing.  Going three weeks without a trash can was not your fault, but it was not our fault either.  Please don't hate us.  Here are some goodies to make up for it.  I hope you have a wonderful day!"  And I stuck all of this on top of the trash can. 

Confession time:  I waited for them to come that morning and watched from the window.  I know.  It's so weird.  But I needed to know if they were mad at me or not.

So they pulled up on the truck, and you could feel their anger radiating from them through the windows.  Did I mention it was a huge pile of boxes and trash?  But then one of the guys spotted the cooler.  He picked it up, read the note, showed it to his buddy, then they both laughed.  They laughed the entire time they loaded up the rest of the stuff.  With a huge sigh of relief, I turned to walk away from the window but then something caught my eye. 

The two guys waved at the house and said thank you.  I was embarrassed that they spotted me peeking through the blinds, but I was so thankful that I was able to do just a little something to make someone else just a little bit happier.

Courage, Dear Heart

“But no one except Lucy knew that as it circled the mast it had whispered to her, 'Courage, dear heart,' and the voice, she felt sure, was Aslan's, and with the voice a delicious smell breathed in her face.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 

"GOD, HELP ME!!!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs sitting in a kayak on the water where it seemed to be a hundred miles from the beach. I was out-of-my-mind scared so I kept screaming the words to the Plumb song, "I'm feeling so alone here, and I know that You're faithful, but I can barely breathe. God help me!"

So how did I get here? I'm so glad you asked.

I was on the beach with some friends enjoying a relaxing day. Someone had brought a paddleboard, and someone else had brought a kayak. I have never been on a paddleboard so let's go for it! Then as soon as we got in the water, I saw something pop up from beneath the surface. I honestly have no idea if it was a turtle, a sting ray, or just a fish, but swearing I heard the Jaws theme, all I knew was I wanted to get out of there and get back on the beach.

A while later, I decided to take the kayak out. I used to kayak by myself out on the beach all the time, but it's been a while so I was nervous. The red flag flapping in the wind wasn't exactly encouraging either. While I was paddling out, I saw on the next wave a whole bunch of sting rays. Something snapped in me, and I panicked. I turned the kayak around, and while I was paddling in, I flipped and lost my sunglasses Ben bought me for my birthday. I felt like a complete idiot all around.

When I got back, one of the guys tried to get me to go back out again and not be scared. I thought I could handle better it if I had someone with me so he grabbed another kayak to go out. I hopped on the kayak, paddled out passed the waves, and he was nowhere to be found. I turned around to watch him struggling to get on the kayak with all the waves.

So I waited patiently for him to come out there, right? Nope.

Full. Blown. Panic attack.

I was screaming for him to come out, and he kept yelling back that he was trying. I lost it. I was crying and wanting to give up and go back, but I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.  I was frozen.  I was scared.  And I was angry.  

I was so mad at myself for being so scared. I was trying to remember that statistics show a higher chance of getting struck by lightning than getting attacked by a shark, but when you're scared, things like stats don't make sense. When trying to explain to a friend what a panic attack feels like, I told her that it's like the logic part of my brain completely shuts down. It doesn't matter how safe I actually I am, I don't feel safe so panic takes over.

I started praying as loud as I could, "God help me!" Screaming the words to the Plumb song over and over.  In that moment, I was asking for Him to protect me from anything that might be swimming around me. But then it grew to asking for Him to protect me from own fear and imagination. And asking Him to wipe my memory of all those stupid shark movies I've ever watched.

Here is the cool part! I don't have a lot of experience with panic attacks or anxiety, but every time I have had one, I have been lucky enough to not be alone. Most of the time, Ben has been with me, and he knows exactly how to help me and calm me down. Out here on the water, I was completely alone and had to solely rely on God.

My prayers are never more sincere, authentic, or loud as they are when I'm scared like I was that moment on the water. I had to fully and completely trust that God was going to keep me safe. I had no one else to protect me, no one else to calm me down, no one else to tell me it would be okay. It was just me and God.

Just as Lucy heard the albatross whisper, "Courage, dear heart," I felt a calmness and peace that could only come from a loving Heavenly Father and not from within myself.  

When things get bad or stressful, I tend to rely on the people around me a little too much instead of relying on Jesus for peace.  I just need to be still, know He is God, and remember "Courage, dear hear." 

The Church with No A/C

In Panama City
In what now looks like a war zone
Is Palo Alto church of Christ
Where we found a church home

The building was like any other
Carpet, pews, and walls
Until Hurricane Michael
Completely changed it all

We used to drive up
And park under shady trees
Then we’d walk inside
To a church with an A/C

On Sundays and Wednesdays
We’d worship and pray
We’d listen to the message
And thank God for the day

We used to chat afterwards
Whatever the topic may be
Never dreaming one day
There would be no A/C

When Michael plowed through
The building had damage and water
But we were all safe
Praise to our Heavenly Father

“Great is Thy Faithfulness”
“It is Well” we would sing
While having no idea
What the future might bring

We handed out supplies
Whatever the need would be
Too busy to complain
About no working A/C

We’re adjusting to the “new normal”
A tarped roof and no floors
But on Sundays and Wednesdays
There are opened church doors

We ponder each message
We worship and pray
We don’t know about tomorrow
But we’re thankful for today

We sing a little louder
We pray with more zeal
And we especially thank God
For our minister Tim Neal

The storm changed it all
But it made our hearts stronger
When the church says “Amen”
We hang around a bit longer

“Did you get your insurance check?”
“Did your roof get repaired?”
Are the questions that are asked
While we fan the hot air

But inside that building
Contagious hope and love
And a peace passing understanding
That can only come from above

The church is not a building
To God all praise be
For using His people
In the church with no A/C

How to Get Passed the Front Desk Girl

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

As an executive assistant, I have worked as "the front desk girl" and "gatekeeper" among other titles for over five years, and there are a few tips I would love to share with anyone who is trying to get passed my fellow gatekeepers.  I understand you have a job to do, and I want to help you succeed. Trust me.  You want to hear what I have to say.

This is meant to helpful not hurtful.

1: Please understand everyone is busy just like you so don’t come in with a long sales pitch.  Also, try to remember that I am not the decision maker.  Whether or not we use your services is not up to me, but I can get you in front of whoever does make that decision.  It is best to come in and give me a flyer and business card and only stay for a few minutes then schedule a time that we can hear more. It’s not that I'm not interested. I just have a long to-do list like everyone else.  (Have you ever met my boss??)

2: Treats and sweets go a long way. Just saying.  If you really want to stand out though, try to pick something on the healthy side such as a fruit tray or those yummy protein balls from Freshii.

3: Please do not come between 9:00-9:30; 12:00-1:00; or 4:30-5:00. The beginning of the day, I’m just trying to get started and a little overwhelmed with emails and tasks. If you come in at noon and interrupt my lunch, I am tempted to not use you just out of spite (that's the hangry side talking). 4:30-5:00 I’m wrapping stuff up, and my brain is pretty much fried.  I know your schedule is crazy too, but these are real suggestions.

4: Be persistent but not annoying. As a front desk girl who sees A LOT of people every day, it always helps to send a reminder e-mail or two. But that doesn’t mean I want you to pop in every day either. Look for the happy medium.

5: Do NOT under any circumstances talk negatively of another company – especially your competition. That is the fastest way to get your marketing material thrown in the trash.  You think I'm kidding?  I'm not.  If you want to say something along the lines of, "We are the best at what we do" - that's fine.  But if you start trash-talking your competition, I can guarantee you that I will never mention you or your company to any of my higher-ups. 

6: It really helps to see you outside of the office. If I see you at a charity function or a chamber event, I’m more likely to remember you. It’s easier to talk to people when I’m not behind a computer and up to my eye balls in tasks.

7: Be sweet – not fake. It’s not hard to tell the difference between someone who is genuinely kind and someone who is just trying to sell a product. If you really love and believe in your product, it shows. And trust me, I'm more likely to listen.  

8: Show respect to me, my job, my boss, and my company.  Respect my time.  Be polite.  Be honest.  Be kind.  

9: If you are going to call me or my boss, ALWAYS ask, "Do you have a minute for me, or should I schedule a time to talk to you later?"  This simple sign of respect wins 1,000 brownie points with me.  

10: Want to know the best way to get your foot in the door at our company?  Sponsor a charity event that we are involved with.  We (meaning more people than just "the front desk girl") see your heart.  We get to know you as a human being.  We see your willingness to work and serve.  We have a soft spot for people like that.  

I hope these tips help you, and I hope they make your day just a little bit happier!

Thank God for... Fleas?

"' Give thanks in all circumstances,'" she quoted.  "It doesn't say, 'in pleasant circumstances.'  Fleas are part of this place where God has put us." - Betsie Ten Boom

I just finished reading The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom, and wow! What a remarkable story of home and courage in one of the absolute worst times in human history.  Corrie and her family were Christians harboring Jews in their home in Holland during Nazi occupation.  It's an incredible story of God's faithfulness proven over and over through a vitamin bottle that never emptied, a Bible miraculously smuggled, and what some would call a lot of "lucky coincidences," but I honestly don't think luck or coincidence has anything to do with it.  

Now back to the fleas.  After being arrested, imprisoned, and transported like animals, Corrie, along with her older sister, Betsie, find themselves in the barracks of Ravensbruck, a women's extermination camp in Germany.  Within the first few minutes, Corrie cries out covered in fleas.  There are fleas everywhere in the room.  Corrie asks her sister how they can possibly live like this.  

After a prayer, Betsie reminds Corrie we are to "rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances."  (1 Thessalonians 5)

One by one, Betsie and Corrie make a list of all the things they are grateful for, and they say prayers of thanks to God.  They are together.  They have a Bible.  They have an opportunity to witness to countless women.  Then Betsie thanked God for - of all things - the FLEAS!!  Obviously, Betsie was a better woman than me.  I agree with Corrie when she says, "Not even God can make me grateful for a flea."

The two sisters start a Bible study in the barracks.  Corrie calls them "little previews of heaven."  There are so many women from various countries that language barriers are a problem, but Corrie and Betsie translate their Dutch Bible into German, and they can hear it being passed back in French, Polish, Russian, and other languages.  Oh, how beautiful that must have been.  But as they get bolder and bolder with the Bible study, they cannot figure out why they have not been caught.  They are under strict supervision everywhere with the exception of the barracks.  Why?  

The next chapter reveals the answer.  FLEAS!  The guards never step foot in the building because of the fleas!!  But even before they know this, Betsie and a very reluctant Corrie had given thanks for that mean little booger, the flea.  


What are the "fleas" in my life that I can be thankful for?

Broccoli.  I hate broccoli.  But I put some in my chicken Alfredo, it is almost bearable... with extra sauce.  What I'm super thankful for is asparagus and zucchini - the two veggies I really love.  Dirty dishes.  I haven't had a dishwasher in over 5 years, and washing dishes by hand gets really annoying.  But dirty dishes mean I have plenty of food and a sweet husband that loves to cook - that is what I am most thankful for.  Laundry.  It never ends!!  But I have plenty of clothes, and for that, I am thankful.  That person in my life that I am not overly fond of.  I have to believe they are in my life - whether I want them there or not - for a purpose.  And if God is using me for a purpose and plan even that I don't see or understand, I am grateful.  Rent.  After the storm, our rent was raised along with most everyone else's.  But I have a home when a lot of people do not have one right now.

Let me get extra real.  Failure.  I am thankful for failure - okay not always, but when I can calm down and think long enough - I am thankful for failure because it means I'm trying.  I'm thankful for when I am tired.  That means I'm trying.  

Would you like to know the weirdest thing I am thankful for?  Sand in my shower.  I know.  Weird.  But when you have always, always, always wanted to live at the beach.  I am thankful for being able to live here and for every minute I am able to spend on the beach so yes, I am thankful for the sand in my shower because it means I got to spend time at my happy place.  

And the list goes on.  

What are the "fleas" in your life right now?  Make a list and thank God for each of those things.  Then leave a comment.  I'm curious to see other's answers.  

Don't just shut the door; SLAM IT!

"Lord, if this is not Your will, don't just shut the door; SLAM IT!" 

Thanks, Will Tate for teaching me this prayer.  I have used it many times but especially recently because we have been doing that oh-so-fun activity of house hunting.  At first, it was fun!  And I'm totally an "enjoy the journey" kind of girl.  But then the process turned into a process that could possibly result in a stomach ulcer.  

I had a friend as me not too long ago "How do I know that was the Lord's sign and not my brain just tell me what I want to hear?"

So, of course, my response was, "Oh, I know exactly the answer to all of your questions because I have all of this stuff figured out, and I know exactly what God's plan is for me and all the steps to get there.  Not to brag, but I'm kind of an expert on this."  

Just Kidding!!! 

I told her I'm right there too.  I ask this question all the time.  It's not easy to know what God's plan is and His will and His purpose.  I know staying in constant prayer and reading His Word every day helps, but the answer is usually still not simple.  And I told her I often pray that if this is not God's will, don't just shut the door; SLAM IT so I know that's not the path you want me to take.

We started looking for a house a few months ago.  We found a great house that was new construction and in our budget.  The only downside was it had a small yard, but we decided to go for it.  We had it under contract, but the deal fell through a week before closing.  Was this God saying this wasn't the house for us?  Was God telling us to save more money for a down payment?  Was he saying yes, no, or not yet?  I had no idea.  

We waited a couple of months, and then last week, we saw the same house was still on the market.  It gets better!  The seller had reduced the price of the home, and interest rates had gone down.  Bingo!  So we made another offer... and so did someone else.  The seller accepted the other person's offer.  I was shocked at how calm I was, but I kept saying, "God slammed the door.  Clearly, this wasn't the right house for us.  It'll be fine."

Later that week, another house popped up on the market.  And I thought it was perfect.  It was only a year old, was in a great location, and best of all had a big, beautiful backyard!  It had been on the market for about 17 hours when we made our offer along with three other people.  This time, when the door slammed, I wasn't so calm about it.  I pouted and wallowed and ate way too much junk food and watched too much tv.  

But then the next day, we received the sweetest letter from the sellers via both of our realtors (glorified note-passing) explaining their situation and why they took the other offer, and they wished us the best of luck finding a home.  I was floored!  They did not have to do this, but it was so incredibly kind of them to do this.  I felt really guilty for all the wallowing.

So the only option left was to wait for something else to come along.  

So now my prayer was, "Lord, I have NO idea what You're up to, but if You could let me in on whatever it is, I'd appreciate it." 

Then I got the phone call today... that first house that we first had the offer on might be available again.  So do we go for it?  Or do we wait for something else to come along?  We decided to sleep on it before making any decisions, and we found out the next morning this house was not an option. The door was slammed shut. 

When Ben and I got home yesterday, we were relieved more than anything.  And for the first time that I can remember, I thanked God for slamming doors.

Thy Will Be Done

"Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that You're God
And I am not
So
Thy will be done."
          -Hilary Scott

Since I was in high school, I have ended my prayers with, "Let Your will be done. Nothing more. Nothing less. And nothing else." 

I know that I don't always know what is best for my life so sometimes, I have no idea what to pray for.  It's in these moments that I pray, "Thy will be done" simply because I don't know what else to say. 

But then someone - I wish I could remember who it was - once told me that she prayed, "Thy will be done. And help me be okay with it."

Woah.  Game changer.

God's will does not always match up to Lacey's will.  I have learned over the years that I am not always meant to understand God's will, but I am supposed to accept His will no matter what that may be. 

Funeral Funnies

When I was 16, we went through a period of losing several older family members in a few short months including my granddaddy and a few great uncles on both sides of the family. While funerals are a very sad, somber time, they are sometimes the source for unexpected humor, and unexpected humor makes for great memories. 

“We are at the wrong funeral!!”
My older brother was trying to tell my mother at a funeral for my great uncle, “There’s a black man in the casket. We’re at the wrong funeral!” My great uncle had been on dialysis for many, many years, and his skin had darkened significantly as a side effect. This explanation did not suffice for my brother.

During the service, the preacher who didn’t really know my uncle kept referring to him as Walter. “Walter was loved by his family. Walter was a good man.” His name was Clyde. My brother whispered to my mother again, “We are at the wrong funeral!”

Then the preacher stated, “Walter proudly served his country in the army during Vietnam.” To which my grandmother in her oh-so-graceful way declared out loud, “He wasn’t in the army! He was a diabetic!”

To this day, my brother is convinced he attended someone else’s funeral.



The Unknown Niece
When one of my dad’s uncles passed away, we loaded up to go to the funeral. I didn’t really know this uncle very well, but I wanted to be there for my dad and the family. It was a small, sweet service. At the closing of the graveside service, the preacher went around to each person and said something sweet. “Your husband loved you more than anything in the world.” “Your dad was a good man and loved you very much.” Then he got to me. He took my hands in his, searched my face, and after a long few moments said, “I honestly have no idea who you are, but I’m sure he loved you.”

Late for His Own Funeral
Another uncle on my dad’s side passed away during the same time period. I wasn’t there, but my parents describing the day’s events were priceless. It was a small graveside service. The family assembled, and they were ready to begin except there was a problem. Our uncle was nowhere to be found! The hearse had gotten lost and was late.

The family waited for a while, but the funeral director told them there was another service scheduled to start in thirty minutes. The options were to begin the funeral without our uncle or to join in with the next family. Join in with the next family? Have you ever heard of anything so hysterically ridiculous? So they started the service, and the uncle’s casket eventually arrived. According to my parents, the preacher never skipped a beat but only paused long enough to say, “And here he is now!”

Leave it to a Phillips to be late to his own funeral.

How May I Serve You?

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.” John 13:14

This was the verse for my daily Bible reading this morning. I’ve heard this story a million times so I didn’t think much of it until I got to the application part in my journal. How does this verse apply to me? Then it hit me.

A long time ago, I heard someone describe a person as “a waste of space” and “better off dead.” Ouch. That hurt me. I wasn’t overly fond of the person he was talking about either, but I wouldn’t say that he was better off dead. I would like to think I wouldn’t say that about anyone no matter how much I didn’t like them.

Even though this happened forever ago, it still hurts my heart to think about those words, “a waste of space.” Even though this person has made a long list of terrible decisions, I don’t think he is better off dead.

It got me thinking about my own life. I hope my life is full of purpose, value, meaning, love, joy, and sunshine. I hope my life will bring happiness to others. I hope my life reflects the peace and hope that I’ve been given straight from Jesus. I hope God uses me for HIS good and HIS purpose. I hope I am never considered a waste of space by anyone.

Squirrel back to the verse this morning. Jesus gave the ultimate example of humility when He washed the feet of the disciples. This is a direct order from Jesus Himself – not a suggestion – to be humble and to not think of ourselves as better than anyone else and to serve others. Just because someone has made a lot of bad decisions, that doesn’t mean that I am above him. Grace that was given to me is the same grace that is extended to anyone who will accept it.

I am going to really start making an effort on small ways to serve others, especially through prayer, love, and grace. If I can help make one person’s day just a little bit easier on them, it will be worth it.

So now I ask… How May I Serve You?

More than Just a Pretty Vase

"But now, O Lord,
You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You are the potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand."
Isaiah 64:8

One day at church, it occurred to me that if God is the Potter, and I am the clay, I want Him to make me into something useful, something with a purpose.

Some vases are made to be pretty - nothing more.  You stick them on a shelf or on a table to look pretty, take up space, collect dust, then be sold for $2 at a yard sale.  There are some vases where you put lovely fresh cut flowers for a week until the flowers die then you stick the vase back in the cabinet.

Then there are flower pots that may or may not be pretty, but that's not the point of the flower pot.  The true purpose is serving as a home for plants to thrive.  It is not glamorous.  It's actually dirty, but it's strong.  You see the plants - not the pot.  It has a purpose.  It has meaning.  It is more than just a pretty vase.

This is what I want for my life.  I want people to see Christ, not me.  I want to get down in the trenches and get my hands dirty.  I want to be strong.  I want to have purpose and meaning in all that I do.  I don't want to just sit on a shelf collecting dust.  I want to be useful.  I want to be more than just a pretty vase.

Proud of Our Karen!

I have been working with this wonderful woman, Karen Smith for 5.5 years, but she never ceases to amaze me with her kindness, grace, contagious joy, and almost-annoying optimism. She WAKES UP HAPPY!! It's the weirdest thing I've ever witnessed. But I adore this woman. To work with her for all these years has been full of challenges, excitement, heartbreak, surprises, lots of laughter, tears, lessons, love, growth, and, yes, lots and lots of happiness!! By the way, she always, always says that all the Beachy Beachers and I were WITH her - not FOR her. Just that one word makes a huge difference.

She is constantly learning and growing herself so that she can help others grow and succeed. She has had storm after storm, challenge after challenge, heartbreak after heartbreak, but she will, in the words of Poppy, "Get Back Up Again!" She is the shining light our world so desperately needs. She handles herself so beautifully solving the world's problems every day, volunteers way too much, gives so much to others, loves all of her precious grandbabies, and does all the things while ALWAYS looking cute!

Last week, Karen was the recipient of the Community Impact Award at the Panama City Beach Chamber of Commerce Awards Dinner, and we could not be more proud of her.

"The greatest part of recognizing this individual for this particular award is that we get to highlight how they have positively impacted not just their own business- but so many other small businesses in this room in ways that inspire INTEGRITY. You can’t help but step up to do better and be better when you come in contact with this person."

We love you, Karen!

Not the Morning Person I Want to Be

I remember random things, and a vivid memory I have from first grade is one of me writing on a notepad that I wanted to start waking up at six in the morning.  Why do I remember this?  Because a boy sitting next to me pointed to it laughing and showed it to another kid.  They were both laughing and joking, but I didn't understand why my new goal was so funny.  It wasn't the goal they were laughing at.  I have never been the best speller, and I spelled "six" with an "e" instead of an "i."  Yeah.  To add to my embarrassment that obviously scarred me for life, I still did not understand why they would not stop laughing at what I wrote.  This wasn't the first time or the last my poor little sheltered brain would be the cause of laughter, but that's okay. 

The point that I need to get to is that I have always, always wanted to be a morning person, but I have always struggled with this.  I have always wanted to take my time getting ready, do yoga or a quick workout, do my daily Bible reading, and journal before the day got officially started.  My days always just go better when I wake up early.

I go to bed pretty early, and I sleep SUPER great (thanks, Plexus!), but I still hit the snooze button in the morning.  I don't look at my phone an hour before bedtime, and my phone is on the other side of the room.  I'm wondering if it has anything to do with our sweet fur babies who want to go outside around 5:30 and then back inside a few minutes later.  Or am I sleeping too much?  Why is it so hard for me to just wake up. 

Do you have any tips or tricks or advice to help me become the morning person I want to be? 

Define "Fun"

“What’s Fun for Other People May Not Be Fun for You–and Vice Versa.” – Gretchen Rubin

Ben planned the perfect Costa Rican honeymoon for us when we got married. He planned some great excursions including an ATV tour, zip lining, horseback riding, a water slide, and hot springs. My excitement turned to guilt when I had a huge, sudden panic attack before getting on the zip line. I don’t like heights or going fast, and I had been zip lining in Ecuador so I already knew this was something I don’t enjoy. But I begged Ben to do it without me because I knew he would love it. Our guide asked if I wanted to try again, and when I told him no, he asked if I wanted to go find a toucan instead. “YES! That’s exactly what I want to do.” Even though I was happy when I got to see a toucan, I felt so guilty, and I wanted to be the kind of girl that enjoys zip lining and adventures. Unfortunately, that is not something I can change about myself.

Some people enjoy being social every night of the week. Others prefer to stay home and watch Netflix instead. Some people define fun as skydiving, but others define fun as finding a new bookstore. Some couples enjoy a date night at a romantic restaurant while others like to watch football and eat wings for date night. Not everyone likes jazz music or basketball or historical fiction books or mango.

Everyone was created differently with different interests, desires, passions, and ideas of fun. And that’s okay. That’s the beauty of this thing called life. This is what keeps it interesting.

While I’m a fan of trying new things, don’t try to force yourself to love something that you simply just don’t. On that same note, don’t call someone crazy because they don’t have the same interests or hobbies you do. The one exception is for people who like chocolate mint. That stuff is gross! LOL! And I feel sorry for the people who aren’t as cool as me and enjoy a weekend of binge-watching M*A*S*H* or Harry Potter. I’m totally kidding. But seriously.

So the next time someone mentions that they love Italian food, don’t respond with, “Ewe I hate Italian food. Chinese food is way better.” Instead, say something like, “I didn’t realize you love Italian food. That’s interesting. My favorite is actually Chinese.” You’re saying the same thing but in a way nicer way. If someone mentions they are a big fan of a sport you hate, find out why they love it, and you might be surprised to find out.

While we don’t agree on everything, I think it’s important to learn and respect each other’s interests and passions. Define "Fun" for yourself and run with it. Learn about other's versions of fun, but give yourself a big dose of grace if you don't enjoy it as well. I hope this makes your day just a little bit happier.

Identify the Problem

One of Gretchen Rubin’s personal commandments is “Identify the problem.”  The example that she used in The Happiness Project was her unwillingness to hang up her coat in the coat closet, but she figured out that she just hated the time it took to put it on a hanger.  The solution was to hang the coat on a hook on the back of the door.  Simple enough, but it took Gretchen taking a moment to put the effort into identifying the problem in order to identify the solution. 

One of my biggest problems is keeping our bedroom clean.  It will be perfect and tidy and gorgeous and awesome, but a week later, it will be a total wreck.  So I spent last Saturday cleaning the room, and I took a minute to purposefully sit on the bed and try to identify the problem of why I can’t keep it clean. 

The problem: I try on 3-4 outfits in the morning almost daily, and everything I don’t wear hits the floor, and I tell myself I don’t have time to hang them back up right then.  After that, I’m convinced the piles of clothes reproduce while I’m at work.

The solution:  I spent about 30 minutes trying on clothes and prepared 6 different outfits for the workweek (I created an extra just in case) including shoes, jewelry, and a sweater (dressing in layers is my favorite since I’m always cold).  I hung all the outfits up on and put them on a separate rod. 

Result: Having the outfits already planned out for the week not only saved a ton of time and stress, but I am proud to say that our bedroom is still clean!!  When I get home from work or the gym, I take a moment to hang the clothes back up or add them to the laundry hamper.  Done. 

Bonus perk:  Because I take the time to plan out my weekly wardrobe, I actually look and feel more put-together.  Plus, it eliminates those moments that usually happen around 1PM where I look in the bathroom mirror and realize my outfit doesn’t even come close to matching. 

I have also discovered that if we spend less than 10 minutes on Sunday planning out our dinners for the week, it saves us so much time and stress, and we don’t have the usual “so what do you want for dinner?” conversations. 

What are some tips and tricks you have used that you have that have worked after you took the time to identify the problem?  Feel free to share because you never know who could use it.

I hope this helps you in some way, and I hope it helps make you just a little bit happier.

WHAT: Decluttering My Life From the Inside Out

“Simplified living requires purposeful stewardship of each day.” –Bill Hybels, Simplify

Now that you’ve cleaned out your closet of Who’s, let’s take a look at our What’s.  Grab your 2018 calendar or planner.  Go through each month and write down how you spent your time last year.  Carve out at least an hour to really dive into this. 

What are some activities or adventures that you enjoyed?  What is on your 2018 calendar that you don’t want to creep onto your 2019 calendar?  What were the goals that you accomplished?  What were some goals that you didn’t accomplish last year but want to try again this year?  What happened on the days you were most productive or the happiest?

What needs to happen more?  What needs to happen less? 

Let’s take a look at our closet of What’s:

First, there’s that beautiful blue dress that’s perfect for your skin tone and always gives you the confidence to conquer the day.  This is your favorite role at work or at home.  The task that you look forward to doing, and you know you will rock it.  For example, mine is to meet with Karen to discuss our calendar for the week, our prayer time together, and planning our Monthly Meetings.  JOY.

Now let’s take a look at those black ballet flats. They look deceivingly comfortable, flexible, and drama-free, but they always rub the worst blisters on your feet. The blisters heal, and you wear them a few weeks later hoping they will work this time.  This is a task that you need to delegate to someone else or give it up somehow.  You always think you can handle it, but it always brings nothing but stress and anxiety. No Joy.

Take out that incredible black dress that makes you look sensational, but you say you’re saving it for a special occasion that never comes.  This is the vacation you’ve been saying you will take for years and years.  Look at your calendar and book it now.  (Pro tip: always purchase the travel insurance.) JOY.

Back to your shoes. Those classic black pumps that always make you feel fabulous no matter what you’re wearing.  This is your favorite hobby.  Whether you get to spend one full day or one full hour on it, you always feel better.  JOY.

                                                                                                                                         

Those super cute tan heels that were so comfortable and looked fabulous the first three times you wore them. Then the heel broke off. And no amount of duct tape or super glue can fix them. No Joy.

Your favorite pair of cozy socks is the small comfort like a cup of coffee or the five-minute devotional that gives you that peace to make it through the day. JOY.

Those tight jeans that you haven’t been able to wear in years because you can’t breathe while wearing them. This is the job or the task that drains all your energy and isn’t worth it.   No joy.

That sports bra that always does the job is your favorite planner. JOY.

Squirrel:  Do you prefer online calendars or good, old-fashioned calendars you can write in?  Let me know in the comments!

The pretty bracelet that turns your wrist green is the person that is best described as “toxic.”  That thing you’re doing because it looks good on a resume, but it stresses you out and drains you. No joy.

Your favorite scarf is a lunch date with a friend.  You instantly feel better and are excited for the rest of the day. JOY.

The old T-shirt you’ve had for way too many years, and although it’s faded, it’s still your favorite because of all the memories attached.  What is one thing you have done for years that makes you happy?  A favorite movie?  A favorite blanket?  A favorite hobby?  JOY.

The I-paid-lots-of-money-but-they’re-totally-worth-it sneakers are your friend that pushes you to be better in the best ways.  What is the “what” in your life that fires you up and fills you up with passion?  Spend more time doing that “what.” JOY.

Make a list of all the “what’s” in your life then, as Gretchen Rubin says, “Do what ought to be done.” We all have tasks that we don't enjoy, but if there's something that doesn't bring you happiness and you can delegate or stop doing it, get rid of it.  The "what's" that fill you up with joy, add them to your calendar this week, this month.  Be intentional.  If you want more happiness in your life, add more happiness in your calendar. 

I hope this works for you, and I hope this makes you just a little bit happier.

WHO Pt 2: Decluttering My Life From the Inside Out

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." C. S. Lewis

My niece just turned four.  FOUR!  It is so crazy to think that she was just repeating the word "bubble," and now, she is FOUR!  If life keeps flying, I want to be more intentional with how I'm spending my time and who I'm spending it with.

Still keeping with the theme of Decluttering My Life From the Inside Out, I want to continue to focus on decluttering the people in my life.  I've heard you are the average of the five people you hang around most.  If that is true, then I definitely would like to be more selective of the people I am around. 

Let's do an activity together: Write down a list of the five people that are closest to you. Now make notes beside each person. What are their strengths? What are their weaknesses? Are they a fountain or a drain in your life?  Do they bring positivity or negativity to the table?  Do they bring out the best or worst in you?  How do you feel while you're around them?  Do they make you feel special and valued?

Now write down the list of the five people you WANT to hang around and WHY.  What can you learn from them?  How can they add value to your life?  What uniqueness draws them to you?  What characteristic do you love most about them?

Don't worry. You're not getting graded. This isn't going on social media. And you can shred this later if it will make you feel better.

Look at these lists- your list of friends, defriends, and the five people you are closest to. Take these lists, and as Gretchen Rubin says, “Do what ought to be done.” Make sure your friends make it on your calendar this month or next. And defriend where necessary.  Life is too short to hang around people who bring you down.  Let's be intentional about spending more time with our true friends and lifting each other up.

I hope this makes you just a little bit happier. 

WHO: Decluttering My Life From the Inside Out

"Present over perfect. Quality over quantity. Relationship over rushing. People over pressure. Meaning over mania." - Shauna Niequist

I would like to start decluttering my life by decluttering the WHO just like I declutter my closet.

If you are following the popular Marie Kondo method, you go through each item one by one keeping only what sparks joy and tossing everything that does not bring you joy. We do this with our clothes so let's try to do this with our friends.

Now let’s get started.  Grab a piece of paper and a pen.  Go to your “closet” of friends, put them in a pile, and go through each one. Let’s go through them one by one and divide them into two categories: Friend and Defriend.  I actually go through my Facebook friends while doing this.

First, there’s that beautiful blue dress that’s perfect for your skin tone and always gives you the confidence to conquer the day. This is your friend that is your biggest cheerleader that always sends you the perfectly-timed “You can do it” text. Joy. FRIEND

Now let’s take a look at those black ballet flats. They look deceivingly comfortable, flexible, and drama-free, but they always rub the worst blisters on your feet. The blisters heal, and you wear them a few weeks later hoping they will work this time. These are the friends you want to keep in your life, but they hurt you over and over again. They cause nothing but drama and pain. No joy. DEFRIEND

Take out that incredible black dress that makes you look sensational, but you say you’re saving it for a special occasion that never comes. This is your amazing friend that you keep telling, “We definitely need to get together soon!” But “soon” never happens. Joy. FRIEND
{Add that person to your calendar right now. This week if possible.}

Back to your shoes. Those classic black pumps that always make you feel fabulous no matter what you’re wearing. This is the uplifting friend that boosts your ego especially on Monday’s. Joy. FRIEND

Those super cute tan heels that were so comfortable and looked fabulous the first three times you wore them. Then the heel broke off. And no amount of duct tape or super glue can fix them. These are the friends that are the classic flakes. They seem so promising and incredible and too-good-to-be-true because they are. They are the ones that constantly cancel last minute and don’t give a great reason. (I’m sad to say this is the group where I fit in.) No joy. DEFRIEND

Your favorite pair of cozy socks is the friend that knows everything about you but loves you anyway. FRIEND

Those tight jeans that you haven’t been able to wear in years because you can’t breathe while wearing them. This is the friend that sucks all your energy and gives nothing back. No joy. DEFRIEND

That sports bra that always does the job is your biggest supporter. Joy. FRIEND.

The pretty bracelet that turns your wrist green is the person that is best described as “toxic.” Those people that bring you down, and it physically shows. No joy. DEFRIEND

Your favorite scarf represents the person in your life that gives the best hugs. You know who I’m talking about. Lots of joy! FRIEND

The old T-shirt you’ve had for way too many years, and although it’s faded, it’s still your favorite because of all the memories attached. This is your friend that you have countless stories and shared memories. You might not see them often, but just the thought of them warms your heart. Lots of joy. FRIEND. Make sure you call that person tonight.

The I-paid-lots-of-money-but-they’re-totally-worth-it sneakers is your friend that pushes you to be better in the best ways. They inspire you. Encourage you. Oh, the joy! FRIEND 

FRIEND - But let’s take it one step further, every friend you decide to keep in your life, the friends that truly add value and bring out the best in you, take that list and add them to your calendar. One of my Personal Commandments is “Live Like There Is No Later.” Don’t wait. Start texting each friend and make plans to meet with them.

DEFRIEND - I know “defriending” sounds harsh, and it is on some levels, but if you are the average of the five people you hang out with most, do you really want these people in your life? And I know that cutting people out of your life is easier on Facebook than it is in real life especially if they are coworkers or family, but try to find a way to spend a minimum amount of time with them. It’s like pruning a plant. It might be painful, but it is necessary for you to grow.

Look at these lists- your list of friends and defriends. Take these lists, and as Gretchen Rubin says, “Do what ought to be done.” Make sure your friends make it on your calendar this month or next. And defriend where necessary.

I hope this works for you, and I hope this makes you just a little bit happier.

Decluttering My Life From the Inside Out

"The lack of organizational tools isn't the problem; the overabundance of stuff is." -Emily Ley

In my last post, I wrote about remaking my life from the inside out inspired by Present Over Perfect.  Afterward, I mulled it over in my mind some more before I came to the realization that I actually don't want to remake my life.  I love my life the way it is.  I have a wonderful husband, a fabulous family, an incredible job, and I live at the beach for crying out loud.  Why would I want to remake my life?  I don't.  I do, however, want to declutter my life from the inside out. 

I recently decluttered my I-know-I-have-too-many-but-at-least-it's-not-as-bad-as-my-mom's shoe collection.  I went through each pair one by one.  Why in the world did I hang on to those black high heels that always rubbed blisters so I never wore them?  Why did I still have those pink flip-flops that I've had since college and literally have holes in the soles?  I was ruthless.  I cleared out a garbage bag full of shoes I don't wear anymore and walked outside to put them in my car to donate before I could get sidetracked.  When I came back inside, I looked at the shoe rack on the back of the door and smiled proudly at my accomplishment of only having shoes I love and actually wore.  The one pair that I couldn't bring myself to part with was my pair of Jessica Simpson red high heels that I begged for on my 18th birthday.  Yes, it's ridiculous to keep a pair of shoes for well over a decade, but they still make me happy to look at. 

I was so proud of myself for this tiny victory that I want to declutter every aspect of my life.  I want to focus on the who, what, when, and where of my life and get rid of anything that is simply taking up precious space and be left with only the things that bring value and joy to my life. 

Let's declutter our minds while we declutter our closets.  Let's purge our hearts while we purge our t-shirt collection.  Let's clean out our lives while we clean out our desk drawers.  As Karen says, "This is an inside job."  Let's get started.

Remaking My Life From the Inside Out Part I

You can eat all the kale,

Buy all the things,

Lift all the weights,

Take all the trips,

Trash all that doesn’t spark joy,

Wash your face and hustle like mad,

But if you don’t rest your hope

And your soul in Jesus,

You will never find

Peace and Purpose.

Have you ever read a Bible verse that made you feel like getting struck by lightning, getting a blindfold lifted from your eyes, and getting punched in the stomach all at the same time?  Did that verse have the word “hypocrite”?  This verse did.  On Saturday morning during my morning Bible reading, this verse jumped out at me:

Matthew 23:25-26 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.”

The Message version reads, “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You burnish the surface of your cups and bowls so they sparkle in the sun, while the insides are maggoty with your greed and gluttony. Stupid Pharisee! Scour the insides, and then the gleaming surface will mean something.”

Ouch.  Did you feel that?

I have been very open about my Happiness Project that I am working on this year focusing on one area of my life one month at a time.  I am starting the year off by focusing on Energy in January by eating healthier, exercising, and decluttering my house.  I’ve been going to the gym three days a week, cutting out fast food, binge-watching Marie Kondo, idolizing Joanna Gaines, reading Emily Ley, and cutting out articles from Real Simple Magazine.  None of these things are bad, of course, but the main part I am leaving out is decluttering and energizing my heart, my mind, and my soul.  I want to focus on what’s inside me as much as I am focusing on what’s on the outside.

I strongly identify with Shauna Niequist in Present Over Perfect, “I tried all the outside ways first – I imagined the changes I need to make were about time management, or perhaps having the cleaners come more often. I quickly found out it was not about managing time or housekeeping.  It was not about to-do lists or scheduling or minutes and hours.  This journey has been about love, about worth, about God, about what it means to know Him and be loved by Him in a way that grounds and reorders everything.”

Shauna’s friend gave her some life-changing advice, 

“Stop. Right Now. Remake your life from the inside out.” 

Ouch.  Did you feel that?  How many times have I been convinced that everything will be better once AB&C are finished?  I will be less stressed when this event is over.  I will have more time for fun when I make more money.  Does any of this sound familiar? 

Right now, I am sitting on my couch with my two puppies trying to figure out HOW to do this.  How do I declutter my life – not just my closets?  Maybe it is as simple as cleaning out my closet.  Simple.  Not easy.  When you clean out your closet, you completely empty it then take inventory.  You keep the items that make you happy and make you feel pretty.  You toss out the items that no longer fit, that are worn out, that you completely forgot about, that you should’ve thrown out years ago, and that no longer serve a purpose in your life.  You happily hang up the clothes that are only your favorites then proudly march your giant garbage bags of clothes to donate to your front door. 

Isn’t that the best feeling?  There is nothing left except for joy and happiness.  A weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you vow to never let your closet get that chaotic again.

Now let’s see if we can’t declutter our hearts and minds in a similar way.  Let’s take everything out and examine the inventory.  What needs to stay?  What needs to go?  What serves a purpose?  What should’ve been cut out of your life a long time ago?  What brings you happiness and peace and laughter?  What only brings anger, frustration, or guilt? 

This week I’m going to explore this crazy method.  I want to look at the Who, What, When, and Where of my life and start decluttering.  I will be honest with you.  I haven’t done this, and I have no idea if it will actually work, but I figured it’s worth a shot. 

I want for you to share with me what is working for you, any ideas you have, or even if you think I’m on the right track.  We can try this together, and hopefully, this will make our lives just a little bit happier.